The saga continues....

I can't. I just can't.

Okay - so my prescription is still at the 4th pharmacy, and my nurse called to tell me that they called her to change one of the meds. They don't have olive oil, so they want to sub my progesterone in oil for sesame. Um. No.  Sesame makes people itch. Olive oil is safe. It works. I want olive oil. So, not too much of a problem. I was told we had a $50 copay per med, it's under $80 OOP, I'll just pay OOP for the PIO in olive oil from my pharmacy and submit it to the FSA.

Then it gets better. I hear back from the "Case manager" who apparently knows more about my body, cycle and IF needs than both me AND my doctor. (Apparently, my ins co has instituted a managed care infertility program, so I get a case manager to help me through my benefits, who is a certified reproductive endocrinology nurse.) Great. So I call this chickadee to find out who I need to talk to to find out where my benefits are.  She says she knows exactly where to find the answers and will call me back.

And she calls me back to tell me that I don't have benefits through medical and I need to talk to my husband's HR people (he carries the benefits).

Well - if I don't have benefits through pharmacy and I don't have benefits through medical, where does that leave me?

Me. Creek. Paddle. Ugh.

This is just ridiculous already. I live in NJ. It's a mandated state. I HAVE coverage for medications But no one is willing to pay for them.  I have never had trouble like this before.

So, I hauled ass to my husband's office, simultaneously having a stroke and a heart attack. We got on the phone with their rep who proceeded to tell us that we would have to pay out of pocket for the meds (which will cost $8k) and then submit them for reimbursement.

When I stopped laughing and crying from sheer frustration, i realized that if we did that, one of two things would happen. We would submit the claim and either they will be denied for using an out of network pharmacy (when there is none in network) or they will be reimbursed at a minuscule fraction of the cost.

I've been given meds from friends who didn't need them for their cycles. Generous generous friends. But I shouldn't have to use them. I should be able to pay a few hundred dollars copay, use my benefits and pay it forward to other friends in need. But now it's looking like I might actually need to use these meds, and I hate that.

Why does there always have to be something? Is it not bad enough that we're infertile, that we have to do IVF in the first place, that we have difficult deliveries, that our children have medical problems? Does even THIS stupid part have to be a giant pain in the ass, too?

Ugh.