I've Fallen Off of the Decaf Wagon

Okay - so it's still only a couple of ounces of caffeine per day - but this waking up at 5:30am to get to monitoring in time to be first, to be home in time for Smudge's Dad to go to work and not be late, is getting EARLIER and EARLIER every day. Enter the weekend, where they tell everyone to be there at 7am, as opposed to just between 7-9am. So, today it was doubly important to get there first, since their satellite offices are closed on the weekends and everyone goes to the main office for weekend monitoring. It was PACKED this morning. 

I was still first.

One thing was noticable this morning. With the exception of the same nice lab tech that did the bloodwork (an older woman named Janet), I do NOT like the weekend staff. There was a nurse that I have never met before and one of Dr. Z's new colleagues since Dr. B left, Dr. O.  The best thing about Dr. Z's office is the warm fuzzies. Fran hugs me before she leaves my room. Dr. Z either hugs me or holds my hand. Dr. O was all business, all the time. I guess some people need that. But i don't know. To me, if you're going to be putting cameras in places, we could at least be friendly about it. 

Anyway - Today is stims day 9 and day 2 of ganirelix.  Dr. O measured my lining at 9mm, still trilaminar. Fran measured it at 10mm yesterday. I know it's subjective, so I'm not worried about it. If Fran measured it at point A and got 10mm, Dr O could measure it at point B and get something different. As long as my E2 keeps going up, that's all I care about.  Plus, i'm still drinking the pomegranate juice, and we know how that helps thicken things. 

My right ovary is a MACHINE. Are you ready? Here we go: 14mm, 11.2mm, 13.1mm, 7.6mm, 13.5mm, 6.7mm, 11.4mm, 10.2mm, 9.3mm, 12.9mm. She only measured 4 on the left, where Fran and Dr Z have both been measuring 5. So she either missed one, or just didn't measure the little one, but the ones she measured look great: 14.7mm, 12.8mm, 14.7mm and the last one was either 11 or 13mm (i don't remember).  At this point, I'm looking at anything 13ish or higher as a potential mature egg, which still puts us at 7-8 for retrieval. I think they'll try to retrieve out of follicles even a little smaller, but if I have 7-8 mature eggs, i'll be happy. That gives us good odds, in my head, anyway.

And the news gets even better. Since it's a weekend and they want to leave as early as possible, Nurse Jennifer just called with my E2.

Drumroll please......

723!!!!!!!!!

This cycle is starting to really pick up. With 13 large follicles in my Smudge cycle on the same stims day, my E2 was 899. My estrogen per follicle is DEFINITELY higher this cycle and that can only mean good things about the maturation of the eggs. There are only 7-8 that we're counting this time. 


No med changes and I go back in the morning. May the force be with me.

Power to the Penguins

I have a confession. I'm comparing cycles like a mofo. 

I got my E2 back. It's 498. So, definitely better than yesterday. Today is stims day 8. Wouldn't you know that I also started Ganirelix on stims day 8 in my Smudge cycle too? That's a happy coincidence, don't you think? My E2 was 615, but I also had 13 follicles over 10mm. Now I only have 8! I think that's really good news for my level.  I had 13 follicles and the E2 was 615 (we retrieved 13 eggs BTW, but only 7 were mature).  I think it's actually HIGHER now, looking at the number of follicles. The actual number is a little bit lower, but I have almost half the number of follicles! I bet all 7 of these will be mature. 

Can you imagine if they all fertilize?! The thought of having 7 embryos is almost overwhelming. I don't know if we would ever do another fresh cycle (if this cycle works), but Smudge's Dad has already agreed to do a FET in the future if we wind up with something to freeze. 

Okay - getting ahead of myself. 

All that matters is I have 7 follicles going strong. 

Going back tomorrow, and I'm sure every day until trigger. 

OMG. This is going to happen REALLY soon.

Time to Break Out the Big Guns....

 That's right, folks. It's no holds barred now... I'm doing it and no one can stop me.

I'm wearing fleecy penguin socks in June.

Hi old friends.

These socks saw me through IVF #2, retrieval, transfer and the labor and eventual delivery of my daughter.

And now they're getting dusted off.  And just in time too. Because they worked.

Obviously, I know that there are factors in play other than lucky socks.  There are buttloads of injectible hormone stimulating medications and modern science. But HEY! If I want to give the socks some credit, then I'm going to.

And without further ado, I give you... monitoring #3.3 (have I ever mentioned that 3 is my favorite number, btw?):

My lining is trilaminar. For those paying attention, that means my estrogen is rising. So, yay! That also explains why I'm a hormonal raving crazy-monster, but who's really paying attention to EVERY little mood swing right now? (Honey, put your hand down please. Thank you.)

Now, let's discuss the follicles, shall we?

At the very tippy top, you can see a follicle. It's the black circle.

There are 5 measuring on the right with 2 small: 8.4mm, 12mm, 10.3mm, 10mm, 11.7mm

There are 6 measuring on the left with 1 small: 5.4mm, 8.3mm, 5.7mm, 10.7mm, 11.1mm, 11.4mm

Fran (my ever wonderful nurse) said for 6 days of stims, this is great for me. I'm obviously progressing and we're hoping for an E2 above 200 today.

So, now we get to wait for the phone call that will give me instructions for my meds tonight and tell me when I need to go back. I'm guessing saturday and staying the course on my meds... or maybe a SLIGHT increase if he wants me to go a little faster. But i'm not worried anymore.  I see at least 7 great follicles in my future. Now lets just hope for good mature eggs inside them.

Hold onto your penguin socks, friends... I think the ride is about to take off.

First Pen Down

I think it's funny that the gonal-f pen comes with so many needles. Sometimes I wonder if anyone actually uses that many for one pen. All I know is that today is stims day 4, and my first pen is down. 

I can definitely feel some sort of action going on in my ovaries, the left more so than the right. But I know the right one is a little further behind my uterus, so I wonder if that make me able to feel it a little bit less. I guess I'll find out for sure tomorrow morning.

By this time tomorrow, I will already be on my way home from monitoring #3.2. I will know how I'm stimming; if this tripled AMH (still crap, but less crap) is making any difference, and what my risk for cancelation is. I feel like tomorrow means almost as much as whatever happens on retrieval day. I'll never forget crying my eyes out on my way home, on that day 2 cycles ago, when I was told that there was a good chance I might be canceled. I hope to never hear those words again.

So, sacrifice a chicken, cross everything, throw some salt, say a prayer, light a candle and smoke 'em if you got 'em. I need all the luck I can get.

*\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/*

A few vag cheerleaders never hurt.

I can't believe I'm writing this: Monitoring #3.1

When we started talking about this cycle, it was last year and June seemed so far away. How is it possible that it's June 1st and yesterday I spent the morning at my first cattle call monitoring appointment? They make it as glamorous as it sounds. Lining up, at the buttcrack of dawn, first come first served for blood draws and vagcams. Either this is the smallest group i've ever cycled with, or I'm not going to have to fight for the #1 spot this time. Either way, I was first, which is how I like it, because i'm back on the road and on my way home by 7:30am.

The news yesterday was fine. If I didn't hear from them, my hormone levels were where they want them, and I'm still to start meds today. My ultrasound still showed 11 antral follicles with a homogenous lining at 8mm. The only concern was that I still hadn't gotten my post BCP period, but that concern is no longer.

... and away we go.

Which means tonight is the night. Stims start in T-34 minutes. And I'm having a full blown panic attack trying to figure out how i'm going to do this for the next 10 days. Last time it wasn't this hard. I had to give myself a few shots at 7pm. No problem. If I was at work, i just arranged for one or two people that could give me the Menopur. You see, I can give myself the Gonal no problem. Quick. 1-2-3, right in the thigh. The menopur burns like hell and   there's no way I can give it to myself in the thigh. It's a full mL and it just hurts too damn bad. So, we always did those in the backs of my arms. But I can't reach the back of my arm by myself, so I need help with that one.  I work until 6pm this weekend, but I should be home by 7pm, so Chris can still do those. Tuesday is the problem. I have acupuncture at 6:15pm. She's booked and can't reschedule me. So, I asked the obvious question. As a favor to me, is there any way she could give me the shot.

Nope.

Great. 

I have no idea how we're going to do Tuesday. But for now I'm going to focus on tonight. In 31 minutes I'm going to start this crazy all over again. I'm scared, excited, nervous, insecure, overwhelmed... Yep. Still infertile and all of the feelings that go along with it.

.... and away we go.....

UPDATE: my acu texted me back again. She says she reread my text and feels terrible that she misunderstood me. She'll absolutely give me my menopur on tuesday night. Phew.