Cleared to Call!

Last week, Dr. Z told me not to call my midwife yet. We emailed our doula anyway, and good thing, too, since that same day she got emails from two other former clients saying they were due in March too! She only takes four clients a month and we're #3!

This week, even though I had a moment of panic because I couldn't see the heartbeat, Chris and Dr. Z both assured me they saw it just fine. Fran told me it was averaging 135 but as high as 150. And when the u/s was over, he told me to go ahead and call the midwives.

Squishy is measuring 8.3mm and 6w5d (which incidentally is the same Smudge was measuring one day later, just 7.9mm. Smudge's heartbeat was 158). Everything looks perfect. Dr. Z is not concerned about the gigunda cyst. He says it will resolve. Still no sign of any of the nine fibroids I had at the end of my pregnancy with Smudge.

So, phone call made. 10w2d appointment with the midwives scheduled.

So far this pregnancy, i'm just really hit by a truck exhausted. And chasing after a toddler like this is no easy task. I'm a little queasy and my chicken aversion is back and rearing it's ugly head again. I'm also gaining weight like there's no tomorrow. I'm not eating a whole lot more, so I'm hoping I can blame some of it on the crazy progesterone doses I'm on. I know part of it is also that I'm not eating fat free dairy any longer (like I was with Smudge's pregnancy). Now that I'm dairy free, the alternatives are not fat free, so I probably need to try to make some adjustments there as well. I only gained 20 pounds last time, and I'm practically 1/2 way there already. Disgusting. I'll get this under control. I refuse to add a weight issue to this pregnancy. 

And here is Squishy at 7w:

And Now We Wait.....

I'm really tired, you guys. It's been a long day in Smudge's house. So, what's the old saying? "Just the facts, Ma'am"; is that it?

Smudge cycle:
Beta 1, 14dpo: 126 with P4 = 44
Beta 2, 19dpo: 941 with P4 = 48
Doubling time: 41.37hrs

Current cycle:
Beta 2, 14dpo: 142 with P4 = 29 (increased daily PIO dosage)
Beta 3, 16dpo: 309 with P4 = >40
Doubling time: 42.79hrs

We'll take it.

First ultrasound will be July 12th. If I continue spotting or bleeding in the coming week, they will get me in sooner for another beta or an early u/s.

Stay tuned....

Double Trouble

I swear, the International Symbol for Infertility should be:

Well, minus the smokes, of course.


I think I spend as much time waiting for the phone to ring as I do shooting myself up with various poisons. 

Anyway, when last we met, we were hoping for a strong beta today. The definition of a "strong beta" is to double in 48 hours. On Monday (9dp3dt), at 11am, my beta was 42. 

Today (11dp3dt), at 7am, less than 48 hours later, it was 142. 

According to my new best friends at BetaBase.info, my beta has a doubling time of 25 hours.  It more than tripled less than 48 hours. There IS some concern. My progesterone DID drop again. It's now 29. Dr. Z is being very proactive and upping my PIO dosage. Yay - bigger butt shots. Whatever I have to do, i'll do. I'm just glad he's not forcing vag suppositories on me again. Those things suck - and quite honestly, I'm spotting enough already. 

Oh yeah, the spotting. Still going on. Fran says that if I'm still spotting next week, that Dr Z will let me come in for another beta and maybe even an early ultrasound to ease my mind. But she's not worried. 

Because, as a very good friend has told me, I'm good and knocked up. 

Here's my theory - and we'll see how it pans out. Even though I still feel like there's only one in there, and Heather (my acu) feels like there's only one in there, maybe there are 2 after all. I'm wondering if one embryo splitting could cause a rapid beta rise but a slight drop in progesterone. There would only one corpus luteum to produce progesterone, so that would explain that being a little lower, while the beta was slightly higher. 

Another beta and progesterone check on friday. I guess we'll see. 

Here We Go Again.....

Dr. Z is pretending today's blood work results don't exist. I know he didn't want to run them, but Fran is my hero as always and got me in. They checked my beta and my progesterone. My progesterone DID drop a little to 31.5,  but it's still above 30, so he's happy with that and not making any changes to my bloodwork.

My beta is 42 on 9dp3dt. According to BetaBase, that is just above the median, so I will take it. 

Dr Z is bringing me back for my "official" beta and progesterone check on wednesday and then again on friday, like today never happened.  All I know is, today, I am pregnant. Heather (my acupuncturist) says I'm VERY pregnant. I feel good. Early pregnancy spotting/bleeding is normal and much easier for me to deal with than having another failed IVF cycle. 

That's definitely two lines.

I'm pregnant. 

Deja Vu?

If you'll indulge me for a few minutes, I'd like to bring your attention to the anonymous group blog I posted for while we were trying to conceive Smudge. 4dp3dt (4 days post 3 day transfer), I made this post (link in caption):

http://bloominbabies.blogspot.com/2010/03/ivf-2-2-week-wait-update.html

Well, yesterday was 4dp3dt for this IVF cycle. Once again, I went in for a blood draw at the crack of dawn. And once again, I waited all day for the phone to ring. 

I sat with my phone in my hand waiting for it to ring, only to look down and see a voicemail from Fran saying my P4 was greater than 40! Of course I called her right back to find out the exact number. She said their new machine only says >40. So, that blows that I can't see how awesome my number is, but I'm not going to look that gift horse in the mouth, no way. 

And I know, I know, stop comparing cycles... but at this point, really, CAN I?

All I know, is based on past performance, I have the potential to be EXTREMELY disappointed now. 

How the heck am I supposed to make it an ENTIRE week until Beta?

Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise!!

We spent the morning staring at my cell phone waiting for the call that we were being pushed back to monday. We hit the road and still kept staring at my phone. Even when I was drinking my pomegranate spritzer to fill my bladder, I was still waiting. 

Well - we didn't get pushed to a 5dt. 

I had a few moments of worry. What if we only had 1 or 2 left? What if we lost so many?

I didn't really have very long to worry about it, because before long, Jennifer was calling me in to go back. Penguin socks on, bare butt flapping in the breeze - hospital gowns are such joy. I can say one thing about ultrasound guided transfers... they SUCK. I miss my carefree non-u/s guided transfers where I didn't have to worry about peeing on the doctor  and the speculum putting too much pressure in places. 

But a few minutes later, I was seeing my embryos in a petri dish on the monitor getting sucked into the catheter that would deliver them to my uterus and a few minutes after that I saw them delivered 1 1/2 centimeters below the uterine fundus where hopefully they will eventually find a good spot and snuggle in. 

Folks, I'm PUPO!

And now, the nitty gritty! We had 10 eggs retrieved. 8 of them were mature and subjected to ICSI. Of those 8, 7 fertilized. Guess what? WE STILL HAVE SEVEN EMBRYOS!!!

We transferred three 8-cell embryos, 2 grade 2 and 1 grade 3. By comparison, during my Smudge cycle, we transferred 2 grade 2 and 1 grade 4. Dr. Z was sure to remind us that he never grades anything a 1. And seriously, one of the grade 2's looks pretty darned perfect. 

And the other 4? Well apparently, they're still thriving and we'll know monday if we are able to freeze any of them.

Please keep everything crossed for us. Say a prayer, throw some salt, light a candle, or whatever it is you do. Progesterone check on wednesday, Beta next wednesday (6/27).

They're still with me.

We don't talk about Smudge's twin very much. I know we both think about the other baby, and plan to tell her about all that we went through when she's older, but that's usually where the conversation stops.

This morning, my extremely pregnant cousin texted me to tell me she has a friend with some extra gonal pens. Her friend had emailed her this morning to wish her a safe delivery and happened to ask if she knew anyone who needed meds. My cousin told me that someone is looking out for me. 

And suddenly I had the clearest vision of my grandmother holding a baby girl (Smudge's twin) and telling me that Smudge was going to have another sibling. I know that they're the ones that made this happen. My guardian angels.

Thanks to amazing friends (and family), I now have enough meds for my cycle. Some are still on the way, and we'll still have to buy some of the smaller things, like estrace and progesterone... but the major stuff (gonal-f, menopur and ganirelix) is all taken care of.

Bring it on, IF. I'm going to beat you. Again.