Time to Break Out the Big Guns....

 That's right, folks. It's no holds barred now... I'm doing it and no one can stop me.

I'm wearing fleecy penguin socks in June.

Hi old friends.

These socks saw me through IVF #2, retrieval, transfer and the labor and eventual delivery of my daughter.

And now they're getting dusted off.  And just in time too. Because they worked.

Obviously, I know that there are factors in play other than lucky socks.  There are buttloads of injectible hormone stimulating medications and modern science. But HEY! If I want to give the socks some credit, then I'm going to.

And without further ado, I give you... monitoring #3.3 (have I ever mentioned that 3 is my favorite number, btw?):

My lining is trilaminar. For those paying attention, that means my estrogen is rising. So, yay! That also explains why I'm a hormonal raving crazy-monster, but who's really paying attention to EVERY little mood swing right now? (Honey, put your hand down please. Thank you.)

Now, let's discuss the follicles, shall we?

At the very tippy top, you can see a follicle. It's the black circle.

There are 5 measuring on the right with 2 small: 8.4mm, 12mm, 10.3mm, 10mm, 11.7mm

There are 6 measuring on the left with 1 small: 5.4mm, 8.3mm, 5.7mm, 10.7mm, 11.1mm, 11.4mm

Fran (my ever wonderful nurse) said for 6 days of stims, this is great for me. I'm obviously progressing and we're hoping for an E2 above 200 today.

So, now we get to wait for the phone call that will give me instructions for my meds tonight and tell me when I need to go back. I'm guessing saturday and staying the course on my meds... or maybe a SLIGHT increase if he wants me to go a little faster. But i'm not worried anymore.  I see at least 7 great follicles in my future. Now lets just hope for good mature eggs inside them.

Hold onto your penguin socks, friends... I think the ride is about to take off.

Hope Lives Here

It's been a few days since I posted about my pharmacy drama. It turned out that the day after my cousin (who is still gestating, by the way... come on out baby R!) hooked me up with her friend who had extra meds, my insurance finally came through. I still find it amazing that in four different specialty pharmacies, calls from my husband's HR department to the insurance company and speaking with an incompetent case manager, we managed to get five or six different versions of what our benefits were supposed to be. The overwhelming decision was that although we had them, we were going to have to pay out of pocket and hope for reimbursement. That our policy didn't allow for any direct pay options and there was no contract language that specified how we would be reimbursed or at what percentile of cost. 

It was SO frustrating. 

Imagine my surprise when I got a call asking to set up my delivery. Oh and my copay? $23.61. And that's because the needles/syringes weren't covered and the pills had copays. The injectibles were covered 100%. 

I still can't breathe; I'm in such shock. 

But anyway - now it's the way it should be. I'm able to donate the meds I was given to other IFers trying to win this battle and I can use the meds I am benefited to use. I hooked up my cousin's friend with another friend from online, and when this cycle works, I'll have a ton of meds I can send on to the next girl, too.

Hope Lives Here. 

This is what $8000 worth of meds looks like.

This is hope.

The saga continues....

I can't. I just can't.

Okay - so my prescription is still at the 4th pharmacy, and my nurse called to tell me that they called her to change one of the meds. They don't have olive oil, so they want to sub my progesterone in oil for sesame. Um. No.  Sesame makes people itch. Olive oil is safe. It works. I want olive oil. So, not too much of a problem. I was told we had a $50 copay per med, it's under $80 OOP, I'll just pay OOP for the PIO in olive oil from my pharmacy and submit it to the FSA.

Then it gets better. I hear back from the "Case manager" who apparently knows more about my body, cycle and IF needs than both me AND my doctor. (Apparently, my ins co has instituted a managed care infertility program, so I get a case manager to help me through my benefits, who is a certified reproductive endocrinology nurse.) Great. So I call this chickadee to find out who I need to talk to to find out where my benefits are.  She says she knows exactly where to find the answers and will call me back.

And she calls me back to tell me that I don't have benefits through medical and I need to talk to my husband's HR people (he carries the benefits).

Well - if I don't have benefits through pharmacy and I don't have benefits through medical, where does that leave me?

Me. Creek. Paddle. Ugh.

This is just ridiculous already. I live in NJ. It's a mandated state. I HAVE coverage for medications But no one is willing to pay for them.  I have never had trouble like this before.

So, I hauled ass to my husband's office, simultaneously having a stroke and a heart attack. We got on the phone with their rep who proceeded to tell us that we would have to pay out of pocket for the meds (which will cost $8k) and then submit them for reimbursement.

When I stopped laughing and crying from sheer frustration, i realized that if we did that, one of two things would happen. We would submit the claim and either they will be denied for using an out of network pharmacy (when there is none in network) or they will be reimbursed at a minuscule fraction of the cost.

I've been given meds from friends who didn't need them for their cycles. Generous generous friends. But I shouldn't have to use them. I should be able to pay a few hundred dollars copay, use my benefits and pay it forward to other friends in need. But now it's looking like I might actually need to use these meds, and I hate that.

Why does there always have to be something? Is it not bad enough that we're infertile, that we have to do IVF in the first place, that we have difficult deliveries, that our children have medical problems? Does even THIS stupid part have to be a giant pain in the ass, too?

Ugh.