Hope Lives Here

It's been a few days since I posted about my pharmacy drama. It turned out that the day after my cousin (who is still gestating, by the way... come on out baby R!) hooked me up with her friend who had extra meds, my insurance finally came through. I still find it amazing that in four different specialty pharmacies, calls from my husband's HR department to the insurance company and speaking with an incompetent case manager, we managed to get five or six different versions of what our benefits were supposed to be. The overwhelming decision was that although we had them, we were going to have to pay out of pocket and hope for reimbursement. That our policy didn't allow for any direct pay options and there was no contract language that specified how we would be reimbursed or at what percentile of cost. 

It was SO frustrating. 

Imagine my surprise when I got a call asking to set up my delivery. Oh and my copay? $23.61. And that's because the needles/syringes weren't covered and the pills had copays. The injectibles were covered 100%. 

I still can't breathe; I'm in such shock. 

But anyway - now it's the way it should be. I'm able to donate the meds I was given to other IFers trying to win this battle and I can use the meds I am benefited to use. I hooked up my cousin's friend with another friend from online, and when this cycle works, I'll have a ton of meds I can send on to the next girl, too.

Hope Lives Here. 

This is what $8000 worth of meds looks like.

This is hope.

They're still with me.

We don't talk about Smudge's twin very much. I know we both think about the other baby, and plan to tell her about all that we went through when she's older, but that's usually where the conversation stops.

This morning, my extremely pregnant cousin texted me to tell me she has a friend with some extra gonal pens. Her friend had emailed her this morning to wish her a safe delivery and happened to ask if she knew anyone who needed meds. My cousin told me that someone is looking out for me. 

And suddenly I had the clearest vision of my grandmother holding a baby girl (Smudge's twin) and telling me that Smudge was going to have another sibling. I know that they're the ones that made this happen. My guardian angels.

Thanks to amazing friends (and family), I now have enough meds for my cycle. Some are still on the way, and we'll still have to buy some of the smaller things, like estrace and progesterone... but the major stuff (gonal-f, menopur and ganirelix) is all taken care of.

Bring it on, IF. I'm going to beat you. Again.