Seriously. All I wanted was for everything to go the same as it did in our last cycle. The last cycle worked. So let's repeat it. Step by step, med by med, socks by socks (what, you don't have lucky socks?).
I should have known... it just will never be that easy.
First I found out that my acupuncturist is no longer working with Dr Z AND she moved her office AND she can't give me a deal on her pricing anymore. So, now I'm driving further and spending more money (the Amex is getting a workout right now)... but she can't come treat me for retrieval and transfer. I can't drive to her office after because I did that during the first cycle - and that one didn't work. So, can't do that. There is someone new working with Dr Z now, and my acu doesn't want him treating me because she says no one in the acu-fertility world knows him and she thinks he's lying about his experience with infertility.
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| acupuncture works |
Fortunately, it turns out Dr Z has a new nurse named Rachel and she is a tried and true infertility Acupuncturist and she will treat me for retrieval and transfer. Thank goodness. Acu-crisis averted.
Then the pharmacy drama started.
It took three days for the pharmacy that Dr Z always uses to realize that they couldn't fill the prescription because our benefits changed and it doesn't go through our pharmacy benefits anymore. So, she said she was going to fax the prescription to Freedom pharmacy, who can put it through medical.
Then Freedom lost the script.
Then they couldn't find our benefits.
And that was last week. I've been so stressed about this. I've been fortunate that some of the more expensive meds were given to me by friends, but I didn't want to have to use them. I was hoping to use my benefits and pay it forward with the meds to some IF friends who are completely out of pocket, as long as our meds were affordable. But now they couldn't even find the benefits. Everyone was denying the claim. It's been a huge headache.
Then today, Freedom realized that they can't even fill it. They have to send it to Caremark.
And that scares the crap out of me... because I think CVS is incompetent and now I'm worried i may not even get my meds at all in time to start my cycle. I talked to Dr Z about that today.
Which brings me to my real panic attack for the week.
When I got my calendar, it mentioned coming to transfer with a full bladder. Cue freak out. That means he's doing ultrasound guided transfers now. 3 years ago, I asked him why he WASN'T doing u/s guided transfers and his response was straightforward and point blank, "I noticed my success rate was going down once I started doing them, so I went back to the way I was trained, and the numbers went back up". AKA "I wasn't good at them, so i don't do them". I respected the honesty and was grateful for it.
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| Image of an Ultrasound Guided Embryo transfer |
So, today I mentioned that I noticed the "full bladder" thing on the calendar and asked about what he had said previously. I was really happy with his answer. He said that the technology has changed and you can now SEE the catheters on ultrasound, whereas before you couldn't. So now you can see exactly where the embryos are being deposited. Before, you had to go by feel while looking at the monitor and there were too many opportunities to miss something.
I also talked to him about my pharmacy situation. He said, worst case scenario, he can get me emergency meds and we can just "replenish" the supply when my order comes in. So, no worries there either.
The only thing I'm still up in the air about today is whether or not to take baby aspirin. Fran (my nurse) says I don't have to... but I did last time, so I really think i need to again. And Fran, knowing me, laughed when she told me I didn't have to, because she knew what I would say. However, I can't find ONE that doesn't have either food coloring or lactose. Ugh. Back to the drawing board. I wonder if I can get it compounded.
And now for the interesting information:
My lining is typical. 9mm and homogeneous, meaning it is one layer. Closer to retrieval it will be a triple stripe which is optimal for implantation (i've already started my pomegranate juice spritzers in preparation for that). I have 11 antral follicles (6 on the left and 5 on the right). And we're trucking along... 3 days ago, I didn't even feel like this was real... and now I'm right back in the zone. Feeling a little fluttery and nervous again. Last BCP will be May 28th. First monitoring appointment will be May 31st and first stims are June 1st.
Wishing.... hoping...
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