First Tri MindFreak

So, how do you usually feel when you're getting your period? 
Crampy, right? Bloated? Maybe a little gassy and nauseous?

Hey, guess what? Those are also all normal first trimester symptoms. And it sucks. It also sucks that as your estrogen rises, your cervical fluid increases. And that feels like bleeding, which leads to umpteen trips to the bathroom every day to make sure you're not. 

First tri is a cruel cruel joke. I sometimes wish I was as naive as some of those moms posting barely dry pee sticks on facebook at 3w6d pregnant, without a clue their world could end in a minute. 
Meanwhile, assuming everything is okay, visembryo.com says that we're in the baby manatee stage of embryo-hood.

7w ultrasound tomorrow. Please cross everything for us that Squishy still has a heartbeat. 

Retrieval and Fertilization All-in-One

In January when we started thinking about this cycle, June seemed so FAR away.  But, here I am this morning, so bloated that my clothes don't fit and I'm wearing maternity underwear. My egg retrieval was yesterday. As usual, Dr. Z had to practically climb inside to get to my right ovary. I'll never understand why it likes to hide like it does.  But he did what he had to do, and he got them out. 

He got 10 eggs.

I was initially disappointed. My estrogen was SO high for me and everything has been looking so good. I was really hoping for more than that. But then I snapped out of it and realized that more eggs wouldn't matter. My hope was that the eggs we had would be MUCH better quality than the ones we've had in the past.

And I got my answer.

This morning Fran called. Early, thankfully, and with amazing news.

Of the 10 eggs, 8 were mature and fertilized with ICSI (Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection). And as of this morning, we have SEVEN embryos growing well.

A 70% fertilization rate. OMG. 

So, what does this mean? Well this morning, we have seven day 1 embryos. We hope by day 3 they are 8 cells with minimal fragmentation and then MAYBE, just MAYBE, if quite a few of them keep on truckin'... we would be pushed to a day 5 transfer to see which ones make it to blast and then transfer two of those. 

You can see the difference between a day 3 and a day 5 embryo.
On day 5 it is called a blastocyst and it's getting ready to hatch.

Fran will call me back tomorrow and let me know what time to be there on saturday for my day 3 transfer. She'll also give me a brief update on how Scott (the awesome embryologist) says our embryos are doing.

Then, on Saturday morning, unless we get a phone call, we'll go in for our 3 day transfer, like both of our cycles before this.

Smudge and her Twin. We think Smudge is the embryo on the left.
In this picture (on day 3), that embryo was ahead in growth and was a compacted Morula,
on it's way to becoming a blastocyst.

stages of embryo growth

However, if on Saturday we get a call in the morning, we will know that we're pushed back for a 5 day transfer and will go in on Monday morning.

OMG. I'm still in shock. Go go gadget ovaries. You did awesome.

Stay tuned.

A Welcome Day Off

Guess who doesn't get ANY needles today? That's right. THIS girl!

So, this is a boring update. No ultrasound this morning. I triggered last night. Smudge has been having some trouble getting down to sleep thanks to some molars, so her Dad was busy. Smudge's Aunt had to do the trigger honors, and despite both of us being terrified she might f it up somehow, she did a great job!

This morning I went to Dr. Z's office. On the way, I noticed the street sign on the highway for the exit I take. I always see it, but I just never paid attention before. Do you know what I mean. Anyway - this is what I saw:

All roads lead to hope.

Anyway, this trip was just for a blood draw. No follicle check this morning. There's no reason to. They triggered me, so 36 hours from trigger, they go in and take all of the eggs out. The follicles should keep growing (and therefore eggs maturing) post trigger, so it's always a little bit of a surprise to find out how many they'll get. 

I can't wait to find out what my E2 was today. They'll tell me tomorrow before retrieval. There's a chart somewhere online (i'll have to google) that gives you an estimate of how much estrogen each follicle puts out and at what stage. It can help you figure out exactly how many good eggs you have going on in there. All I know is my numbers are better than they have ever been. 

Nothing but good things can happen tomorrow.

T-22.5 hours until show time. 

What a Difference a Day Makes

Or, what a difference a doctor makes. Either way, today is a complete reversal of how I felt over the weekend. Today, I actually feel this foreign feeling. It could actually be:

Smudge's Dad says that Dr. O's technique must just be "different". Screw that PC crap. I say she's an idiot. But I feel like I have the right to say that after the IF hell she put me through the last two days.

When I got to Dr. Z's office this morning (first, as usual), my only hope was that Fran was back in the office and I was going to get to see her for monitoring. I got even better. I got Dr. Z. He only had one retrieval this morning, and he made time to see me (I haven't seen him since the middle of last week) before he got that started. The first thing he said was, "Your lining looks great." Great? Yesterday it was 12, which I know isn't anything to sneeze at, but my hallmark is nice thick linings, so 12 didn't make me happy. Today's 16.2mm makes me smile though. 

16mm of beautiful trilaminar lining! MY lining.

He got really quiet then, and was just clicking and measuring. Nothing can make an infertile more nervous that her normally talkative and smiling RE quiet. So, he started talking... mundane stuff. How was your weekend? Telling me about some boring business conference he had to go to. Asking me if I had met Dr O this weekend? That was my in. I mentioned that I had, and that she measures a bit differently that he does. And obviously, that he remains my favorite. 

By then he was done. I sat back and asked him how they looked. He said, "They look great. You're probably going to trigger tonight".

What?!

I told him that yesterday I had only had 2 follicles above 15 and the majority were 12 -13mm. He just shook his head, chuckled and showed me the numbers for myself.

I have 5 that are DEFINITELY mature (above 17mm), 3 that are PROBABLY mature (above 16mm) and 6 that MIGHT mature by retrieval (above 13mm), since they continue to mature after trigger. That might mature category includes one 15.4mm and three 14.5mm or larger. There's no way anyone can convince me that all of these sprung up from 12-13mm follicles overnight. So, thank you Dr. O for needless worry. I'm thrilled I'm not your actual patient, and I'm kind of concerned for the ones who are.

And now that is gone, out of my head, and my focus is on waiting for the phone call with my instructions for tonight and tomorrow.

If I trigger tonight, I'll be on the same timeline as my Smudge cycle, with a wednesday retrieval. Interesting note, my lining was 16mm the night I triggered for her as well.

I feel really positive (and bloated) right now. I know things are working in there. There's no question. I have NEVER felt this bloated or full during an IVF cycle, and that is just a testament to my ovaries in overdrive.

I asked Dr. Z about my estrogen per follicle theory and asked him what he thought. He said that he felt that it showed that the egg quality was going to be superior. I'll take it.

So, for now, I'm sitting here, once again staring at the phone. I'm excited. I'm hopeful. I'm a little uncomfortable.

It looks like tonight is the night. EEEEEEEEEEEK! Here we go again!

Time to Break Out the Big Guns....

 That's right, folks. It's no holds barred now... I'm doing it and no one can stop me.

I'm wearing fleecy penguin socks in June.

Hi old friends.

These socks saw me through IVF #2, retrieval, transfer and the labor and eventual delivery of my daughter.

And now they're getting dusted off.  And just in time too. Because they worked.

Obviously, I know that there are factors in play other than lucky socks.  There are buttloads of injectible hormone stimulating medications and modern science. But HEY! If I want to give the socks some credit, then I'm going to.

And without further ado, I give you... monitoring #3.3 (have I ever mentioned that 3 is my favorite number, btw?):

My lining is trilaminar. For those paying attention, that means my estrogen is rising. So, yay! That also explains why I'm a hormonal raving crazy-monster, but who's really paying attention to EVERY little mood swing right now? (Honey, put your hand down please. Thank you.)

Now, let's discuss the follicles, shall we?

At the very tippy top, you can see a follicle. It's the black circle.

There are 5 measuring on the right with 2 small: 8.4mm, 12mm, 10.3mm, 10mm, 11.7mm

There are 6 measuring on the left with 1 small: 5.4mm, 8.3mm, 5.7mm, 10.7mm, 11.1mm, 11.4mm

Fran (my ever wonderful nurse) said for 6 days of stims, this is great for me. I'm obviously progressing and we're hoping for an E2 above 200 today.

So, now we get to wait for the phone call that will give me instructions for my meds tonight and tell me when I need to go back. I'm guessing saturday and staying the course on my meds... or maybe a SLIGHT increase if he wants me to go a little faster. But i'm not worried anymore.  I see at least 7 great follicles in my future. Now lets just hope for good mature eggs inside them.

Hold onto your penguin socks, friends... I think the ride is about to take off.