Pomp and Circumstance

Last weekend, this was me:

That stomach virus was AWFUL. I haven't been sick like that in a long time. Dr. Z told me just to stay hydrated and the baby would be fine, so I shouldn't worry. Yeah, right. Whatever. But I dug in with my vitamin waters and chicken broth. Stayed hydrated and 72 hours later felt so much better.

TOO much better. 

All of my symptoms were gone. I wasn't bone tired anymore. I ate eggs and CHICKEN. 

Tuesday morning I called my nurse and asked if there was any chance she could get me in earlier for an u/s. So, the next day (because Fran is awesome), I went in for my 8w ultrasound.

And Squishy is still going strong. HB 170, growth right on track at 8w0d. The Visible Embryo says Squishy has a four chambered heart now. Fetal development is chugging right along. Oh - and Squishy is no longer an embryo. S/he's now a fetus. Which means:

I hate leaving Dr Z, especially for unknown waters. I am very glad to have changed providers to the midwives at a great hospital and Dr Z really likes them and their cooperating doctor, which is great news (he didn't love the OB who delivered Smudge). But at Dr. Z's office, I know everyone and they spoil me. I  guess we'll find out soon enough. Our first appointment with the midwives is at 10w2d.

Meanwhile, my dizzy spells are back and I'm a little queasy again. Someone remind me, the next time I start to feel great to just embrace it and not question everything. 

3-4 weeks until I'll be able to hear Squishy's heartbeat for myself on the doppler. Until then, I'm just going to get through this one day at a time. 

Cleared to Call!

Last week, Dr. Z told me not to call my midwife yet. We emailed our doula anyway, and good thing, too, since that same day she got emails from two other former clients saying they were due in March too! She only takes four clients a month and we're #3!

This week, even though I had a moment of panic because I couldn't see the heartbeat, Chris and Dr. Z both assured me they saw it just fine. Fran told me it was averaging 135 but as high as 150. And when the u/s was over, he told me to go ahead and call the midwives.

Squishy is measuring 8.3mm and 6w5d (which incidentally is the same Smudge was measuring one day later, just 7.9mm. Smudge's heartbeat was 158). Everything looks perfect. Dr. Z is not concerned about the gigunda cyst. He says it will resolve. Still no sign of any of the nine fibroids I had at the end of my pregnancy with Smudge.

So, phone call made. 10w2d appointment with the midwives scheduled.

So far this pregnancy, i'm just really hit by a truck exhausted. And chasing after a toddler like this is no easy task. I'm a little queasy and my chicken aversion is back and rearing it's ugly head again. I'm also gaining weight like there's no tomorrow. I'm not eating a whole lot more, so I'm hoping I can blame some of it on the crazy progesterone doses I'm on. I know part of it is also that I'm not eating fat free dairy any longer (like I was with Smudge's pregnancy). Now that I'm dairy free, the alternatives are not fat free, so I probably need to try to make some adjustments there as well. I only gained 20 pounds last time, and I'm practically 1/2 way there already. Disgusting. I'll get this under control. I refuse to add a weight issue to this pregnancy. 

And here is Squishy at 7w:

First Tri MindFreak

So, how do you usually feel when you're getting your period? 
Crampy, right? Bloated? Maybe a little gassy and nauseous?

Hey, guess what? Those are also all normal first trimester symptoms. And it sucks. It also sucks that as your estrogen rises, your cervical fluid increases. And that feels like bleeding, which leads to umpteen trips to the bathroom every day to make sure you're not. 

First tri is a cruel cruel joke. I sometimes wish I was as naive as some of those moms posting barely dry pee sticks on facebook at 3w6d pregnant, without a clue their world could end in a minute. 
Meanwhile, assuming everything is okay, visembryo.com says that we're in the baby manatee stage of embryo-hood.

7w ultrasound tomorrow. Please cross everything for us that Squishy still has a heartbeat. 

One, Singular Sensation.....

Crazy doubling betas, insane bleeding for more than a week... it's all been stressing me out more than I care to admit. This pregnancy is already so different from my last. Including the way it's starting. Not with anything bittersweet. No lost twin. No lost anything, despite that horrendous nightmare about losing the baby the other night. 

Just this: I give you...... Squishy.

Hi, Baby: 6w1d. 

Squishy is measuring right on track at 3.7mm and at 6w. We were able to see a heartbeat today at 111bpm, which is exactly where it should be according to the American Pregnancy Association,  and what I think is the best webpage ever explaining early fetal development (and doing it well).

Dr Z couldn't see any explanation for the bleeding I experienced. So, of the options available, he thinks we were dealing with implantation bleeding from my thick lining. All that matters is that he sees no bleeding or interruption around the pregnancy. He also doesn't see any of my fibroids (there were 9 at my c-section for Smudge). So all good news there. 

I do have a cyst on my right ovary the size of my head. We'll hope that resolves sometime soon.

And as a complete aside, on my way out of the office, Dr Z pulled me aside and asked if he could ask me a question. He may be looking for more nurses.... and on the weekend. He wanted to know if he could call me to discuss working for him. That would just be amazing and I continue to be so touched that he thinks enough of me to ask me to work for him. And I wouldn't have to worry about how to tell him I'm pregnant, either! 

Next u/s is scheduled for thursday. Please continue to send us all the positives you can, because we're not out of the woods yet. We're still aiming for that 8w mark, where the chance of m/c drops to less than 5%. Seeing a heartbeat today was great news, but I'll be happy when our risk of losing this baby drops below double digits. Stay tuned.

My Beating Heart

This is what an embryo's heart looks like:

And if all is progressing as it should be in there, the calculator at IVF.ca tells me that today my baby's heart started beating.

The next 5 1/2 days are going to take forever to get here. 

The WORST 2ww

It's no joke that the 2ww between retrieval and beta sucks. I even have a whole posting dedicated to how much so, here. But if anyone tells you that it's the worst wait, they're either complete and total liars or they've just never done this before, because the WORST 2ww is between that official beta and the first u/s... when you find out if you actually have a viable pregnancy.

Assuming I DO have a viable pregnancy, this is what my baby is up to today: Check Out: The Visible Embryo. I love that website.

That first u/s is usually at the 6w mark. A few other things usually get ushered in around that mark, morning sickness among them. I'm hopeful that my little embryo is snuggling in nice and deep, because today I woke up sick as a dog. WIth Smudge, I spent a lot of time nauseous, but never threw up. Can't say the same now, that's for sure. My acupuncturist has asked me to not drink peppermint or ginger right now (of course). Something about they're very grounding and we want to be uplifting, or some other new-agey hoo-hah. I'm just going under the assumption that a can of organic ginger ale here and there isn't going to be the worst thing in the world, because it REALLY makes me feel better temporarily. 

I've been told to try Sea Bands for nausea. Thoughts? Leave them in the comments!! :)

This stuff is AWESOME.

The good news is that the spotting has finally stopped. I'm officially over 24 hours without spotting. Even so, if you know me, you know that there's no way i'm going to make it another 10 days to u/s without ANY monitoring at all. So, I just got off the phone with my covering nurse (of course Fran is on vacation this week), and they're fitting me in for a beta thursday morning. I'll feel much better if I can just see the numbers continuing to rise.

I'm 5w tomorrow. Stay tuned.